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Water Fountain Hogs!

It is said that in any community only a few do the really crucial work.  In our world, that work takes place in the gym.  Not just any gym, mind you.  In fact, the word "gym" has been perverted over time into something dreadful.  Cavernous glass and chrome enclaves richly appointed with carpeting, decorative finishes, and optioned with such accouterments as juice bars, salons, child care, pilates studios, and spa services; sporting such names as Bally's, 24 Hour Fitness, LA Fitness, Sports Club LA, Equinox, and the like, are not "gyms" even though they have a room with some free weights, weight machines and dumbbells.  These are not gyms; these are "health clubs."  Typically, bodybuilders - the aforementioned few in our community doing the crucial work -  do that work in a gym, not a health club.  As such, the work being done in a gym - a real gym - is pretty serious stuff. And, since serious people tend to be doing the serious stuff, a bit of etiquette needs to be employed by those fortunate enough to be doing their menial work alongside our more crucial work.

 

Now, I am by no means considering myself one of the few in our community.  However, to me, my work is no less crucial and I set about doing that work with every bit of the ferocity and seriousness of any rising amateur or top level pro.  I'm in the gym to get my training done, do my cardio, and get out of there so I can go home and eat.  No socializing, talking, fucking around or trying to make friends.  When I'm training I have my iPod on, my beanie pulled down nearly over my eyes like a Vato, and I focuse on what I'm doing with the rest of the world tuned out.  If I talk to anyone it's either before I start or after I'm done - as long as I'm not too jacked or too hungry.  However, after I push the "play" button, it's on and I don't want anyone or anything to bother me.

 

I'm also not a guy that likes to carry around a bunch of crap when I'm training.  I don't wear a belt, I don't use straps, I don't have a gym bag, and I certainly don't carry around that wretched water bottle - especially not the gallon variety. Other than my iPod, the only thing I carry around is my phone; that's only in case my son't school calls, or I have to tap out the odd romantic text between sets to my scorching hott Peruvian princess in South Carolina. If I'm thirsty, which I usually am, I use the water fountain.  Now that it's the end of May in New York and it's finally getting warm (not hot, mind you; just barely warm) I'm making the trip to the water fountain at least between every exercise if not more, and I'm not going to the water fountain looking to wait in a fucking line.  Also, just because I'm going to the water fountain doesn't mean I'm taking a break.  I need a quick mouth full of cold agua and then I'm right back on the job.  That is, unless some fucking mook is filling up his empty liter-sized water bottle under the misconception that he is the only one in the gym and the gym - and all the water in it - belongs to him.  That guy can throw off my whole game.  Multiply that experience by more than one person and I start getting really pissed..  So should you.

 

Bev Francis' Powerhouse Gym in Syosset is widely accepted in bodybuilding circles as one of the last bastions of true hardcore training in the country.  It's so good in fact that it shares the pantheon of ultimate hardcore gyms with less than half a dozen other gyms in the entire United States. Any serious pro bodybuilder visiting the east coast makes his way to Bev's much like the faithful used to make the pilgrimage to Mecca when it rested in Venice during the Golden Age of bodybuilding.

 

Perhaps owning up to its ultimate status as the "East Coast Mecca" is its lack of frivolous amenities. There is no juice bar, no child care, and in its entire 30,000 plus square feet of hardcore goodness there is but one water fountain. Given the fact that this lone water fountain must service the needs of the many, the needs of the few must not take precedence, especially when they are too cheap to buy another bottle of water.  If you are one of these people and you find yourself monopolizing the only water fountain in the gym filling your giant liter sized water bottle, the least you can do is have the presence of mind to look behind you. If you see a sweat soaked and parched lifter standing behind you panting like an old Ford with a leaky head gasket, common decency and basic gym etiquette would require that you immediately stop filling said giant water bottle and step aside to allow the guy who only wants a mouth full of water have it and not make him wait until your entire liter has been dispensed. I get a kick out of these guys; they look right at you and keep filling the bottle - right to the very top so that you can't jam in another drop just like a Mexican cab driver filling his cab with gas.  And it's not a rare occurrence.  On Friday I got behind no less that six people doing the same thing during the course of an hour workout!  Six out of six ill-mannered self absorbed water jacking jerk-offs who think they are the only ones in the gym.

 

Come on fellas, you can't possibly all have been raised by a pack of wolves.  If you insist on refilling your big ass water bottle from the only water fountain in the gym and you see one or more person lined up behind you to get a drink, do the right thing and stop filling your bottle and step aside. I can pretty much assure you that with enough complaints about such thoughtless gym members, certain gym owners may institute a "no filling your water bottle from the fountain" rule.  The idea behind that huge glass refrigerator behind the front desk filled with bottled water is that the gym owner wants you to buy a bottle of water; not glom it from his water fountain.  I got news for you, I'm not rat, but if I have to wait behind just one more of you thoughtless bastards filling up a water bottle, I'm dropping a dime and you can bet it wont be long before you're buying your water.

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