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The Kovacian: My Hatred of FURUS!


This week, I am going to depart from my reminiscing and address a couple of things that I just want to write about. First off, I have had a week that just plain sucked. It all started off with the anticipation of moving into my new condo with my lovely girlfriend, Caterine. After all the bullshit I went through trying to find a place and arranging all the details, the day came when it was finally time to move. It was exactly one week out and I was backing out of my driveway.   I heard a bang. I turned my sore neck around and I witnessed the fact that I had backed into someone’s parked car. Dammit! I hopped out of my car and the ground gregkovacs1pm8rumbled beneath my feet, I had crushed some of the asphalt. It happens all the time. I assessed the damage and it wasn’t pretty. It was at that point that I realized that my neck was wrenched and bothering me from the impact. I must’ve hit the gas too hard or something. Anyway, I started knocking on all the doors of houses in the area until I found the person who owned the car I hit. I am not going to lie, the looks on people’s faces when they opened the door and saw me standing there was priceless. The lady who owned the car was very kind and we went about sorting it all out. That was the first debacle of the week.


The second shitty incident of the week was that I couldn’t find a moving truck to rent. I had no friggin’ idea that UHAUL requires a minimum of 30 days to pre-order a truck. Seriously, it takes 30 days to locate and reserve a truck? I just think it’s another one of those dumb policies that companies institute to screw with people’s patience. I wound up finding a truck anyway, but it took a lot of running around. The truck I located didn’t have a ramp or a lift on it. It didn’t really matter; I just lifted everything the 5 feet off the ground into the back of the truck, myself. It reminded me of when I was living on the farm with my parents. No big deal, the rest of the move went off well and we settled into the new Kovacian lair – or cave; I haven’t really decided on a name yet.  


I began to relax and was feeling good, at this point; but let’s be honest, that’s not my style. I needed more drama, so I got my wisdom teeth pulled.   Seemed like a good thing to do at the time. Well, they weren’t really pulled. They were yanked. It was a great way to celebrate my new pad! Since I was all doped up on pain killers, my poor girlfriend had to take over the unpacking duties. She’s a trooper and got things organized very quickly. A special note to her, thank you Caterine, I do appreciate all you do; you’re the best. The absolute worst part of the entire ordeal was that I couldn’t eat. I know all of you bodybuilders reading this can commiserate with the sheer pain of being a hungry bodybuilder and knowing you are undoubtedly, catabolic.


Moving on from my crappy week, I want to discuss one particular issue. I have a lot of athletes coming up to me and asking for advice a few weeks out from their contests. I don’t mind helping people out with this or that, but the problem becomes that they usually have trainers/coaches that they are paying money. They become displeased or don’t fully trust what they are being told to do and they come to me for my advice. It gets really touchy because I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes.   But, to be honest, when I hear what some so-called “gurus” are having their athlete’s do, I can see why they come to me for advice. These guys are really furus, or fake gurus. They don’t know what the hell they are doing and they are making flat-out dangerous recommendations to their clients. Personally, some of the things that I hear about make me want to go over to these furus and slap the chicken breast out of their mouths and ask them what the hell they are thinking.   All I can do at the late hour these athletes come to me is apply a band-aid and hope that it helps. I can’t really get hands on and actually bring them in at their best.   Not too long ago, I consulted an athlete and corrected some protocols that a furu had told him to do and he came in at what he considered his best. The athlete turned around and gave all the accolades to the furu and didn’t so much as thank ME. That was the last time I ever did that.


Truly, the only way for an athlete to come in at their best when utilizing my knowledge base is to have me design and prepare their entire diet/training/supplement protocol. I’m talking about starting from week 20 all the way to contest day; not week 3 to contest day. I am very attuned to addressing problems once they occur because of all the mistakes I have, personally, made and observed during my competitive career. Sometimes, the best coaches aren’t the ones that won every contest the first time they stepped on stage. The best coaches are the coaches that have tried everything and had to learn the hard way.   I always had to think on my feet when problems cropped up and I learned a lot of little things that the average furu has no clue about. This is one reason why I’m so good at addressing issues when they pop up; and even better at preventing them all together from the outset.  


From now on, I will only help athletes that solicit my services for the entire contest prep period. I’ve helped a lot of male and females attain their best ever condition. My attempts at stage glory didn’t yield what I wanted, however, in doing so I have learned the game inside and out. I have come to terms with the fact that I am a teacher and a coach. It is my true calling, I love to see others do their best and to be a legitimate part of the process, as their coach.   I like to sit back, be a huge gym freak, not have to diet and help others get to where they want to be. I am working on launching my new website, which will be dedicated to this task. Until it’s launched, anyone looking for contest prep, off-season plans, training programs and so on can contact me at [email protected] . If you are in the surrounding Greater Toronto Area and are interested in one-on-one training Kovacs-style, you can also contact me there. My rates are very reasonable and when you see the results, you’ll realize it was worth every toonie (that’s a Canadian two dollar coin). Until next time you crazy chicken breast eating, iron crushing, supplement popping, gym freaks! Kovacs out!

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